Parenting Support

Parents with kids

Being a parent is the most important job that we undertake. Unlike other jobs, where we can be trained, we are expected to 'know' how to be a 'good parent'. Each family is unique and special and parents face different challenges at each stage of their child's life.

Click here for a useful website for parents

Tips for helping with children's behaviour

Being a parent is a wonderful thing; however, it's not always easy.

Hopefully, the tips below will help you with techniques to guide, nurture and encourage your child and build your confidence as a parent.

We want our children to behave well, and to

  • Have respect for themselves and others
  • Be polite to others
  • Know how to behave in different situations
  • Be able to concentrate and pay attention
  • Share and to take turns
  • Know how to win and how to lose

But children often behave quite differently, and we may feel annoyed, frustrated and embarrassed. Children will always push against boundaries. They are checking out what their parents will draw the line at, what they can and can't do. This helps them understand what is acceptable and what isn't. Parents work out their own ways of looking after their children. here is no simple recipe; it takes time for children to learn how to behave, and for parents to work out the best way of getting the best out of their child.

Children do not usually misbehave just to upset or annoy their parents. There is often a reason behind a child's behaviour. Behaviour patterns can get stuck. At some point most children will misbehave to get attention. If a parent doesn't pay much attention when children are behaving well, some children will try 'acting up' to get attention, even if it results in a telling off!

Tip1: Talk and Listen

As we know, all children are unique. Getting to know your own child, and knowing what makes them angry or agitated can help you prevent angry or upsetting situations before they happen. Talking and listening to your child helps them to understand what's going on. Tell them you love them, and show them by smiling, cuddling and kissing them. Tell them when you are cross, or when you are not happy with their behaviour. They need to realise that it's the behaviour you don't like and not them.

Tip2: Play

If children are playing, they are less likely to be posting the remote control in the bin or wrestling with a brother or sister! If you've got a lot to do in a short space of time, set up an activity that will give you that all important extra half an hour. Play is important and enjoyable, and children can learn a lot from it. Children need time to play on their own, with others and with their parents, as long as they play safely.

Tip 3: Understand changes as they grow

Children's needs and understanding change as they grow, and what might be expected of a 7 year old can't be expected of a 4 year old.

Tip 4: Set boundaries

Children need clear rules, boundaries and routine.

  • Be consistent
  • Parents need to agree the rules. It will help the child if both parents take the same approach
  • When you say no, mean no. Keeping to this can be hard work
  • but if you have a few clear rules, it helps you and your children
  • If you make promises keep them
  • Rules should be simple and clear
  • Keep to as few rules as possible
  • Try one new routine at a time and get it working before moving on to the next

Tip 5: Reward and notice good behaviour

Sometimes it is easy to ignore your child when they are behaving well, and only notice them when they are misbehaving.

Children love their parents' attention, and if they have to behave badly to get it, they will. Give them lots of praise when they are behaving well, rather than focussing on misbehaviour.

  • Rewards do not have to be material things
  • Real praise and encouragement is the best reward as it can boost a child and build self-esteem and confidence
  • Try not to stress over the little things. If you are praising things they are doing well, and ignoring the small niggles, your child will learn that unacceptable behaviour no longer gets them the attention

Tip 6: Build self-confidence

Building your child's self confidence will help them to try out new things, make friends and cope with the upsets and problems they meet as they grow up.

Tip 7: Have realistic expectations and allow consequences

Children are children. They will be messy, noisy and, at times, disobedient.

  • Give them the freedom to make mistakes
  • Encourage your child to think for themselves and take responsibility for their actions

Tip 8: Deal with meltdown moments positively

There will be difficult times for every family - usually when there's too much to do in a short space of time, or when what you need to do, clashes with what your child wants to do.

Recognise Triggers - there might be some specific triggers or times when your child misbehaves. Be aware of these and try different approaches.

Tip 9: Look after yourself

If you make sure you get a break to relax, this may help you cope better. Try to:

  • Take time for yourself
  • Keep interests outside the home
  • Take up the offer of help from family and friends
  • Get rest when you can
  • Look after your health
  • Know your limits
  • Get together with other parents and their children - children also need company

Tip 10: When things are getting difficult

  • Stay calm
  • If it is impossible to stay calm, leave the child in a safe place and leave the room for a few minutes. This will give you breathing space to think
  • When you return, talk to your child about what has happened and how you will deal with it
  • Think about what happened, what set off the behaviour, has it happened before and what could be done differently?
  • Ask for help and advice - nobody gets it right all the time
  • As a general rule, try and give five times more praise than criticism
  • Don't try to change too much at once - take one tip and use it until you've worked it out and then try another
  • Flexibility is fine - life can be chaotic and having a flexible approach will help your children learn to do the same

And Remember

The most important thing is that your child feels loved and happy even when sometimes things are difficult.

Helping your child with maths

Try to make maths as much fun as possible - games, puzzles and jigsaws are a great way to start. It's also important to show how we use maths skills in our everyday lives and to involve your child in this. Identifying problems and solving them can also help your child develop maths skills. If you see him or her puzzling over something, talk about the problem and try to work out the solution together.

Don't shy away from maths if you didn't like it at school. Try to find new ways to enjoy the subject with your child.

Tips for helping your child to enjoy maths:

  • Talk about and involve children in the situations in which you use maths in everyday life
  • Point out the different shapes to be found around your home
  • Take your child shopping and talk about the quantities of anything you buy
  • Let your child handle money and work out how much things cost
  • Look together for numbers on street signs and car registration plates
  • Play games involving numbers and/or logic such as card games, dominoes, darts, draughts, chess etc.
  • Stimulate their thinking at times of possible boredom (such as travelling - are we there yet?!) with mental activities - try 'the answer is '2' or '4' or '10' - what is the question?' As there are lots of possible questions, there is no fear of failure
  • Let them help you to sort the washing, put the shopping away - what goes where and why
  • Encourage ordering and sequencing when getting dressed, going to the shops, having a bath etc. Talk about what you do first, what you do next, . and last of all
  • Talk about time, refer to the clock e.g. 'we'll have lunch at 1 p.m.' - how long until lunch time?
  • When playing with toy vehicles or making models talk about directions e.g. forwards, backwards, next to, shape etc.
  • Talk about maps, directions, house prices, cost of fuel - we use maths every day and in most situations!

Whatever you do, make sure your children enjoy it! If they struggle to understand, make mistakes, or get bored: keep calm, make it easier, change the subject, tell them a joke, play football, go to the park.....but please don't get cross or impatient - you could put them off maths for life.

Why reading and sharing stories matters

  • It's the most important thing you can do to help you child succeed. Research evidence shows that your involvement in your child's reading and learning is more important than anything else in helping them to fulfil their potential.
  • Books contain new words that will help build your child's language and understanding. Children who are familiar with books and stories before they start school are better prepared to cope with the demands of formal literacy teaching.
  • Reading together is fun and helps build relationships.
  • The impact lasts a lifetime. Readers are more confident and have greater job opportunities.
  • Children learn by example, so if they see you reading, they are likely to want to join in. Reading with children, or talking about what they have read, is a wonderful way to show that it is an important and valued way to spend free time.

Finding and choosing books - Click here for great resources

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www.thinkuknow.co.uk

The internet is such an integral part of children's lives these days. It opens up so many educational and social opportunities, giving them access to, quite literally, a world of information and experiences.

Whether on a computer at school, a laptop at home, a games console or mobile phone, children and young people are increasingly accessing the internet whenever they can and wherever they are.

As you would protect your child in the real world, you will want to make sure that they are safe whatever they are doing. Like learning to cross the road, online safety skills are skills for life. If your child understands the risks and can make sensible and informed choices online, they can get the most from the internet and stay safe whilst doing so - particularly from those people who might seek them out to harm them.

So, how can you protect your child online?

The answer is simple. If you understand the internet and understand what the risks are, there are a number of things you can do that will make your child safer online...